You can free yourself from anxiety.
How many times have you felt “I’m not courageous enough to show up and be visible”? How many times have you felt “I’m not self-confident enough to open my mouth and voice what I’m sensing, perceiving, and thinking”?
How many times have you felt small enough and powerless to fit into some role? How many times have you handed over the power and responsibility to somebody who didn’t have your full interest at heart? How many times have you pleased others, just to be loved?
How many times have you adjusted to fit into a group, team, circle, or relationship to be acknowledged and accepted? How many times have you told yourself “I’m not good enough”, “I can’t”, “I’m not strong enough”, and “I’m not confident enough”?
Anxiety on its own or in partnership with depression can make us feel imprisoned and constricted and withhold us from living a courageous and passionate life. Every time anxiety and depression wins, our hearts close the door and love lost.
In this article, I will offer you a non-traditional view of anxiety and depression. I will come from a different place and show another additional perspective. I will not treat it here as an illness or disorder.
My point of view here is to explore it from an emotional place and regard it as sadness or repressed emotions. I distinguish between emotions and feelings. In my point of view, emotions make us feeling narrow and resistant in our body and feelings make us open and fulfilled in our body.
Emotions, such as loneliness, worthlessness, betrayal, anger, hurt, and anxiety, can imprison us and create a restriction. Whereas feelings such as love, happiness, hope, optimism, excitement, and joy create expansion.
Being stuck in anxiety and repressed feelings make it difficult to feel self-love, being loved, belonging, and welcoming.
In case what you are experiencing has psychological or biological roots, I advise to reach out for getting help and an opinion from a psychotherapeutic or medical provider.
Some coaches with medical or psychotherapeutic backgrounds may help too if they are experts in the field of depression and anxiety and able to work on it in crossing the edge to overcome depression and anxiety.
I will provide you a beautiful little list daily life practice to overcome anxiety and depression. For those who are affected by it as an illness or disorder, this little regular supports are useful as an addition.
Recently, I went out for a beautiful walk in nature. Nature is an essential resource for me in my life. It opens my heart and invites me to my creative side.
Last time, when I visited nature, I’ve started brainstorming about anxiety and depression and I wondered what it would be to live a life more coming from a place of love and courage rather than from a place of anxiety and depression?
How freeing it would be? What difference would it make to you in your daily life? And what is needed to get to this place?
Anxiety and depression make our heart close and shuts us down from feeling. When we shut down from feeling our feelings and emotions, we disconnect from our body and mind and soul, from life and intimate relationships.
Emotions and feelings are the bridge to connect our mind with our body. They are life-giving, in case we let them flow through our body like a river and let them come and go. Very often as adults we tend to stick to one emotion for a long time such as anxiety.
Children show us the opposite. Imagine children, how emotional they can be, and how alive at the same time. In one second they are angry, in the next second, they are crying, and then after another second, they are smiling.
It is said that children only keep an emotion for 90 seconds. After 90 seconds, they let go and another emotion arises. It is so natural such as waves coming and going. We as adults often fear to feel emotions and feelings or stay stuck in one or trying to control them by our mind and rational being.
Nature is one resource for me to connect with my natural flow of feelings and emotions, to my heart, and to my feminine creative side. All of it creates aliveness and passion for life within me.
Healthy relationships, such as my marriage and my friendships, are another source to let those feelings of aliveness and passion flow. It can stop being dominated or controlled by anxiety and depression.
In nature and healthy relationships, it is possible to surrender to the waves of emotions and feelings very quickly. It gives a feeling of being enveloped in unconditional love and anxiety moves in the background.
All kind of emotions such as anxiety, sorrow, sadness, worthlessness, not being lovable, and loneliness becomes very little by being in nature and healthy relationships. The trust of the feeling of unconditional love, happiness, hope, and optimism can increase. It gives a sense of belonging.
What I’d like to express is that it is powerful to nurture one’s resources regularly as nature or healthy relationships or daily routines and rituals such as Yoga. Those resources can simulate a safe container where you can let go and surrender fully to forget about anxiety and depression and open to trust and love.
Depression and anxiety relate to each other, and it is common to feel anxiety and sadness from time to time, especially during and after a transition in life, after a difficult event, a loss (such as a friend or a job), or distressing project, and time.
Both create disconnection and separation from your true inner self and your soul.
Anxiety makes only sense if it is limited. Otherwise, we would run into the fire without feeling a limited source of anxiety. When we are driven and controlled by anxiety, we imprison oneself and lose energy, power, and passion for life.
The symptoms of depression and anxiety can vary among individuals if it drives one for a while. Those symptoms become remarkable when they have a significant impact on daily life functioning and relationships with others.
Below you’ll find an overview of a few common symptoms of depression and anxiety. Usually, depression is treated as an illness, psychological, biological, or spiritual disorder.
Here are the 11 common symptoms of depression, which includes physical symptoms:
4.Loss of interest in activities
5.Loss of appetite
6.Loss of sexual interest
7.Feeling of worthlessness
Here are the 10 common symptoms of anxiety, which include physical symptoms:
1.Extreme worries about daily things
2.Out of control of those intense sorrows
8.Increased heart rate
Depression affects 20 million Americans and 350 million people worldwide every year. And this number doesn’t give an idea or overview about the number of people who are burdened by sadness, loneliness, worthlessness, hurt or anger that is neither biological nor psychological, nor spiritual in nature.
From a psychological view, the depressed and anxious one is the problem, which means one is helpless, has unresolved problems with family members, or something else.
In the spiritual view, the depressed and anxious one is the problem because they have not found the spiritual connection yet.
In the biological and social depression approach, one is the problem too. This means that they are not working correctly or one is isolated too much from society.
In all of these perspectives, the human being is the problem. But depression and anxiety are not seen as if life and the circumstances of life can be the problem and the cause.
Here, I would like to give you the opportunity to turn your perspective as if life circumstances causing emotions, such as anxiety and depression of emotions like sorrow, sadness, worthlessness, not being lovable, and loneliness.
It can be sadness about life itself, it can be sadness and sorrow about one’s circumstances, it can be sadness and worthlessness about the self and repressing emotions such as anxiety, hurt, betrayal, loneliness, and worthlessness.
In life we only have to main motors for our human doing:
°The motor of avoidance of emotions such as anxiety. (We avoid feeling anxiety, hurt, worthlessness, and loneliness, which may cause depression.)
°The motor of love.
Which motor do you choose to get your body-mind-soul system going and driving through life? Is it that motor of avoidance and anxiety or could it be the motor of love? What motor is serving you best, get you going and moving you forward in life? What motor do you feed?
From my view, the medicine is called love.
Love is the power of healing what makes it overcome anxiety and depression in daily life. We can organize us new and find new beginnings, but we need to follow the force of love and to start within oneself. What does it mean and how is it related to depression and anxiety?
It means that we start to build a loving relationship with yourself. At the stage of anxiety or depression, one has lost connection to one’s inner home and inner world.
Women need to come back to their authentic being and inner place of home. Men need to come back to their authentic being and inner place of home.
This means that all of us need to create a loving relationship with our inner woman and inner man, inner child, and inner adult and balance them. We need to become aware of that we all have a soul and life purpose, and we need to find and connect or reconnect to it.
The path and goal are to get connected to our core center, soul and life purpose, and inner balance. It is about taking 100 percent responsibility for our emotions and feelings especially in times when life isn’t in the flow.
Emotions and feelings are not as bad as we were taught by our generations before. Without emotions and feelings, we were an empty body.
I encourage to open the heart and feel with compassion all narrow emotions such as anxiety, sadness, sorrow, loneliness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and all feelings which create expansion such us happiness, love, excitement, optimism, hope, and joy.
At the moment when you start feeling those emotions and feelings, they don’t have the destructive power anymore and they become integrated within us instead of creating walls.
The way is to make them aware in our mind as the first step. As the second step, we need to acknowledge and accept them in our body by integrating them as if they belong to us.
It is necessary to give them a place within us as an act of self-love. Those emotions of our shadow side are as normal as the darkness and the night. Without perceiving and sensing the darkness or the night, one can’t perceive a wonderful sunrise.
It requires courage, compassion, and persistence to go through those emotions such as anxiety rather than park it aside, bypass it and ignore it or stay stuck in it.
It is not a healthy and sustainable solution from my point of view to repress it. It is about to trust love again, to be vulnerable and to access the path of love and passion within oneself instead of being dominated and constricted by emotions such as anxiety which discourage us from life.
For that, I recommend changing your perspective within you radically. You need to be willing and a hundred percent committed to yourself to do inner work and to walk your walk for the sake of self-love, self-esteem, and self-care.
Real change is an emotional process. Live a life from inside-out rather than from outside-in. That means your emotion and feelings what you create inside you create the outside world and events and not the reverse. That means that the more you feel self-love and self-esteem within yourself, the more love from outside will knock on your door.
Meanwhile, the more anxiety you feel within you and the more you stay stuck in it, the more you will see the world or have it appear as dangerous.
And the question is, are you living the life that is right for you at the time? Or are you living a life someone else wishes you to live and it is not in the balance with your soul’s purpose, but change is challenging because of anxiety and depression?
From time to time we miss listening to our inner self because we are so distracted by outside noises or sabotage programs. Suddenly something from outside wakes us up and give a bump to make us aware.
Anxiety and depression may be seen as a wake-up call to listen to oneself again.
Is your soul giving you some clues to some change in your life?
How to overcome anxiety starts with these 13 little things you can do everyday:
1.Create your daily routines and daily rituals.
°Morning ritual: Take 10 minutes every morning and set your intention for the new day.
°Evening Routine: Go to bed at the same time every evening and get enough hours of sleep, regularly.
°Evening Ritual: Close the day with answering 3 questions: What went very well and successful this day? What filled me with joy today? What am I grateful for today?
2. Visit nature, if possible, everyday.
3. Pay attention to nutrition and healthy food: Particularly to Vitamin D, Vitamin B, and Omega-3 fatty acid.
4. Take a one-minute break daily to be aware of the breath and breathe consciously.
6. Do yoga: There are 3 sequences you can try — the Daily 3, Daily 5, or Daily 10.
7. Drink enough water a day.
8. Take 5 minutes of silence to connect to your emotions and feelings.
9. Take a bath with Epsom salt to balance your acid-base household at least once a week.
10. Journal everyday for about 10 minutes about your emotions and feelings.
New habits need 21-30 days of repetition to be integrated. I highly recommend practicing a few things from the list for 30 days. After 30 days, check in within yourself to be aware of the difference you’ll notice.
I encourage to learn to ride the wave of emotions and feelings in order to get the gifts out of it and to explore the motor and medicine of love. Avoidance creates a wall around oneself. Staying stuck in anxiety creates separation in my experience.
We all seek for connection and interconnectedness. And what does connect us? It is love. Yet, it is the choice of oneself what motor will drive the car, means what do you choose to be driven by in life? By love or by anxiety?
Embracing change is often fearful and a place of vulnerability and yet without change, we do not grow. Real change is an emotional process in my experience. And to my point of view, the answer is always love. My wish for you is following the river of love.
Annabelle-C. Breuer-Udo is a Leadership Coach, Relationship Coach, Process Facilitator, Psychotherapist and TriYoga Instructor at Transformation from Inside-Out. Contact her and send an email at: email@example.com for information about how coaching, process facilitation, and bodywork can transform your life and make your life feel better, make you achieve greater fulfillment in your relationship.
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